I was having a nice snooze in the current when I heard about this; I was abruptly awakened by a noisy magpie squawking about something.
Magpies aren’t often known to eat fish so I stuck my head out of the water to see what he was fussing about, since I couldn’t sleep anyway with that inconsiderate racket.
“The humans at the fish museum want a fish to write a blog post for them to put on the internet!” squawked the magpie as soon as I surfaced, jumping around on one leg.
I eyed him bemusedly.
“A… what?” I asked. My unusually high intellect wasn’t working quite as well as usual, just having woken up so rudely and all.
“A blog post! You know, writing about a topic on the internet!”
“Riiight. And are these weird shenanigans any reason to wake me up from a most enjoyable rest?”
“I haven’t any idea what you just said but I need to find a fish to write about science week for the humans!” said the magpie flapping its wings impatiently. “Hey! You’re a fish, (bright creature) you can do it!”
“I? I want no dealings with humans, bloodthirsty creatures!” (No offence).
“Come on!” Said the magpie, eyeing off a bug passing by, “you talk good; I bet you’d have lots to say! Besides I haven’t got all day.” He pounced on the bug and snapped it down. Disgusting.
Although he did have a point, I am a fish with lots to say. I must admit I have not always admired humans. Most fish are terrified of humans. I myself have always been slightly nervous of them. Ordinarily the only time a human wants to see a fish is at lunch time. Clearly something must be done. Someone must speak out.
So with this in mind I accepted your offer to discuss various things with you on your ‘blog’. To give fish everywhere a voice.
Allow me to introduce myself; I am Augustus.